it's a dog eat dog world out there
so with 18 months under my mothering belt i feel less and less like that new nervous mama. that is until i'm thrown into a situation i've never handled before, than that new mother feeling comes rushing back with the ahhhh what the hell do i do?? question ringing in my head.
which brings me to my next subject...
soft play, people.
don't be fooled by the word 'soft', it would appear at times soft play is anything BUT soft. this isn't exclusive to soft play mind, i'm talking toddler groups and play centres too. yes this is where i'm going to sound like the overprotective (slightly crazed) mother because her son has been picked on by other children, but damn it, i am and i don't care.
you see, you can do or say whatever you want to me, i'm big enough and ugly enough to take care of myself. but my boy, you wanna mess with my boy?? are you sure about that??
okay i joke, i'm not about to go hauling other peoples kids about. i swear. if you live in the edinburgh area your kids are perfectly safe ;)
in fact, don't believe the fighting talk for a second. the reality of the situation is that i actually feel like crying for caleb when it happens.
told you, slightly crazed.
in just the last couple of weeks, caleb has been...
...rammed full force with a metal play food trolley in the face (belter of a bruise), the child in question had tried to do this a few times but i managed to stop him, explaining it was not nice, third time lucky and all that (for him, not caleb).
...strangled (yes that was literally horrific). in fairness i think the boy just wanted to hug caleb, but he was much bigger than him and it all went horribly wrong when caleb decided he didn't want to be hugged and tried to move out of the hug. which had now become the crook of the boys arm around caleb's neck. the little boy lent back full force while caleb struggled to get free. i got the boys arm to loosen (but not immediately as his hold was frighteningly tight) and scooped caleb up who was gasping for air. this situation in particular makes me sick at thought of what would have happened had no one been paying attention.
...pushed repeatedly by another boy, caleb would move away to be followed by the boy for more pushing. no reason, just an instant dislike it would appear.
...body slammed (i'm talking wrestling moves), all because he went up and started talking to this secret amateur wrestler.
...kneed full force in the chest. well he was in the way. simple as.
now i know caleb is of an age were he is obviously going to get hurt at times, and sometimes it's going to be at the hands of other children, nor am i naive enough to think it will never be my child behaving like this towards other children too.
you see, it's not the behaviour i have a problem with, children at this young age they don't realise the weight of their actions, they're not setting out to hurt. they're simply marking their territory, claiming their toy, wanting their own way.
my problem lies with the lack of supervision these children have with whoever has brought them to the play area. i'm not being judgemental here, i get that taking your child out is a chance for them to play independently and blow off some steam while you get to enjoy a cup of coffee. i'm all for enjoying a cup of coffee, but when you're dealing with a bunch of under 4s in a room together i think you need to keep one eye on your child at all times, for their own safety at least. i'm not talking about hovering over your child, just a watchful eye from across the room, ya know.
all the above incidents i mentioned, there wasn't a parent/carer in sight. which left me in the most awkward situation, what on earth do i say to these kids?? i can't go about chastising other peoples children but nor can i ignore their behaviour. usually when a incident occurs both parents are over immediately, resolving the situation with the appropriate apologies. perfect. problem solved. life lesson learnt for both children involved. but when there's no one about, ahh complete nightmare. i explain that it's not nice behaviour and why not play together, but it falls on deaf ears, after all who the hell am i to them and what do i know?? my words don't hold the same weight that their parents would. i've then gone on to witness these children pretty much terrorise the rest of the kids in the room too, the room is then filled with wailing children, bewildered parents and still zero sign of said terrorist's (i joke, really i do) parent.
lets not talk about the fact that every time caleb has been hit upon, that he looks at me confused and pained. this is the crying part (me, not caleb) i was talking about earlier. ah i know i need to grow a thicker skin, i will. but really a soft play isn't a nursery, there is no supervision from a body of staff. that supervision lies with us, and if that means drinking a cold cup of coffee. surely it means drinking a cold cup of coffee.
what is everyone else's thoughts on this? have you experienced anything similar? how did you handle the situation?
