Ditching the Mum Guilt
Recently, I did something, that at the time, felt ridiculously self-indulgent.
Let me start by explaining myself. You see us mums need to do that when we do something purely for ourselves and not our children, now don't we?! ;)
It started with a few drinks and my friend Sam and I discussing how we missed holidaying together. We should book a few days up north, we said. Somewhere gorgeous with a lovely spa and nice walks, we said.
We then started to search for hotels and balked at the prices. How much for two days??! We might as well go abroad, we said.
And so we did!
As you can imagine this was somewhat fuelled by the aforementioned, 'few drinks', and as we pressed, 'BOOK', my excitement instantly turned into a sick feeling. Was this ridiculously selfish of me? Should I be spending that amount of money on myself? If I'm going on a little beach holiday should I not be taking my babies with me who absolutely adore the beach? All the mum guilt came crashing down. Predictable, I know.
I think this is an eternal struggle for parents who have young children, the inability to on occasion put our own needs first. It goes against the grain, doesn't it? We live for our little humans and take care of their every need, but as soon as that stops being the case 24/7, whether that's going back to work, an overnight stay, a weekend away, we can't help but let that guilt creep in.
For this very reason I pushed the fact I booked a holiday to the back of my mind and prayed that when it came around I would enjoy it and not be wracked with guilt the whole time.
Well I can tell you wholeheartedly I enjoyed every single minute. This holiday was a tonic that I really didn't realise how much I needed until I was away. I actually realised whilst laying on the beach, Sam calling my name to see if I wanted another drink, that my name had been said more in those few days than it had in years. I'd forgotten what it was like to be called, Claire, when my days are spent hearing, mum, mum, mum a trillion times, and the other variations, Caleb's mum. Archie's mum. It felt so good to be called, Claire.
We decided we couldn't visit Marbella and not partake in a beach club experience. We chose the world-renowned Nikki Beach, and I'll be honest, I was convinced we were way too old for this. I pictured a flurry of hot, young babes in thongs, meanwhile, I'd be there in my full-length kaftan wishing I was 16 years younger.
That wasn't the case at all, we chose the Friday to go, which is one of the days they don't have any specific events on. This was perfect for us, we got to sample all the luxuries of Nikki Beach with a more relaxed vibe. If you want to party, party though, definitely choose one of their event days.
We chose a bed by the pool and it was the perfect spot to sip rose wine and enjoy one of their gorgeous mezze platters. Any thoughts of not belonging in a place like that, now I'm a mum, completely vanished and it was a day of luxury I didn't even realise I was craving. Be warned the price list is not for the fainthearted, but for us it was worth every penny. I've since concluded that I need more luxury in my life!!
No holiday is complete without finding a hidden gem to eat and drink, and this was Guayaba Beach for us. It was a no frills, friendly beach bar that just happened to serve the best seafood and sangria.
I came back home feeling refreshed, rejuvenated and guess what?! Three happy boys who had a blast while I was away, but also appreciated I was home. Nothing like absence to make the heart grow fonder ;)
So maybe your pondering a night away, a holiday with friends or your other half sans kids. Do it! Push that parental guilt aside. Book those tickets immediately. I can honestly tell you it will do you more good than you realise, and those little people in your life too.
Same time next year, Sam?!
As you can imagine this was somewhat fuelled by the aforementioned, 'few drinks', and as we pressed, 'BOOK', my excitement instantly turned into a sick feeling. Was this ridiculously selfish of me? Should I be spending that amount of money on myself? If I'm going on a little beach holiday should I not be taking my babies with me who absolutely adore the beach? All the mum guilt came crashing down. Predictable, I know.
I think this is an eternal struggle for parents who have young children, the inability to on occasion put our own needs first. It goes against the grain, doesn't it? We live for our little humans and take care of their every need, but as soon as that stops being the case 24/7, whether that's going back to work, an overnight stay, a weekend away, we can't help but let that guilt creep in.
For this very reason I pushed the fact I booked a holiday to the back of my mind and prayed that when it came around I would enjoy it and not be wracked with guilt the whole time.
Well I can tell you wholeheartedly I enjoyed every single minute. This holiday was a tonic that I really didn't realise how much I needed until I was away. I actually realised whilst laying on the beach, Sam calling my name to see if I wanted another drink, that my name had been said more in those few days than it had in years. I'd forgotten what it was like to be called, Claire, when my days are spent hearing, mum, mum, mum a trillion times, and the other variations, Caleb's mum. Archie's mum. It felt so good to be called, Claire.
Do you know what else I learnt on this trip too? To stop labelling myself as, 'too old'. When we first saw this amazing deal to Marbella, my instant response was, we're too old, we couldn't possibly go, I mean, I love carbs for a start! Surely this is not the place for me.
Utter rubbish! We stayed in the lovely area of San Pedro which is mainly Spanish inhabitants, carbs were free flowing ;), and it has such a relaxed and friendly vibe. I don't know what I had in my head exactly, I think I've watched one too many episodes of TOWIE and Made In Chelsea, which says more about me than it does about Marbella!
That wasn't the case at all, we chose the Friday to go, which is one of the days they don't have any specific events on. This was perfect for us, we got to sample all the luxuries of Nikki Beach with a more relaxed vibe. If you want to party, party though, definitely choose one of their event days.
We chose a bed by the pool and it was the perfect spot to sip rose wine and enjoy one of their gorgeous mezze platters. Any thoughts of not belonging in a place like that, now I'm a mum, completely vanished and it was a day of luxury I didn't even realise I was craving. Be warned the price list is not for the fainthearted, but for us it was worth every penny. I've since concluded that I need more luxury in my life!!
No holiday is complete without finding a hidden gem to eat and drink, and this was Guayaba Beach for us. It was a no frills, friendly beach bar that just happened to serve the best seafood and sangria.
I came back home feeling refreshed, rejuvenated and guess what?! Three happy boys who had a blast while I was away, but also appreciated I was home. Nothing like absence to make the heart grow fonder ;)
So maybe your pondering a night away, a holiday with friends or your other half sans kids. Do it! Push that parental guilt aside. Book those tickets immediately. I can honestly tell you it will do you more good than you realise, and those little people in your life too.
Same time next year, Sam?!
