MUSING & CONFESSIONS ON THE TODDLER STAGE
Here's the thing, I'm that mum, the one who adores the baby stage. For those of you that don't, I know what you are thinking...I'm crazy. Well actually I am, but that's another post ;)
You see to me the baby stage is completely instinctive. When they say you learn to tell what their different cries will mean it really is true. I remember being pregnant worrying about that, how would I know what my baby wants from a simple cry?? But true to people's word soon you pick up on a different tone that tells you they're hungry, or need a nappy change, or overtired, or just need mama's cuddles. To me, although that stage is exhausting, it's pretty damn wonderful. You feel like superwoman when your actions ease their woes, and let's not forget about the boobs. Sorry, but when you're as small as I am in that department you embrace those C cups, so much so that you actually ponder the thought of expressing for the rest of your life to keep those babies (I joke, kinda). The leaking though, oh I don't miss the leaking. My friend (also small in that department ;) and I leaked the entire time we breastfed, we once joked that it must be down to good milk supply and a lack of storage :P
So yes, I love the baby stage. Now granted I have not had a child who has suffered with colic, or reflux or something else underlaying. I applaud you parents who have, because that shit is tough. I can't imagine months of crying, and I can understand as your baby grows you are glad to shut the door on that stage and embrace toddlerhood.
My problem is I feel like I suck at the toddler stage. I can no longer fully rely on my instincts, and jeezo, if you misunderstand a toddler be aware to suffer the consequences. You didn't realise that your toddler wants your help but actually wants to do everything themselves so is infuriated by your help, then shame on you, how dare you try to be so helpful. Thou shalt be punished with crying and a throw down on the floor by the wronged toddler. That'll teach you. But actually it won't, because toddlers change the goal posts. Constantly. What appeased them yesterday won't today. What was a favourite food one day will the next time go untouched and end up decorating your floors and walls. When you ask for a cuddle or a kiss nine times out of ten you are met with a NO. Gone are the particular cries, now the cries mesh into one as you frantically try to figure out what on earth they want.
I find this stage exhausting. Yes, the rewards are huge when you see them master new skills and become their own little person, but I'll be honest with you, mostly I find it exhausting, and then I feel guilty because I'm not fully loving this stage.
I actually told Archie to shut up a few weeks back. My exact words were, 'Will you please just shut up, Archie. Just SHUT UP'. (I actually thought this was fairly polite, it didn't feature any swear words which surely counts for something). Do you know he actually did shut up. He must have sensed my tone. At that point I thought, thank god. You've shut up, marvellous, not the best approach, but hey I got my result.
I then later listened to Caleb tell Archie the same thing at the dinner table, 'Archie, will you just shut up'. I died. Gone are my baby winning days, here I am smack bang in toddlerhood losing on all counts. I then had to sit and explain to Caleb how that's not a nice thing to say and that mama was wrong for saying it too. No gold star for me that day.
So this is where I'm at right now, dealing with a little person who's mind is quicker then his tongue and feet. He knows what he wants but doesn't know quite how to express it always, and he wants to always be faster than his feet will allow. It's a stage, and if motherhood has taught me anything in the last nearly four years is that the phrase, 'this too shall pass', is a wise one, because it will. It's also okay to not love every stage too, I'm learning that myself. I need to cut myself some slack. This stage doesn't bring out my inner Mary Poppins, and that's okay.
Let's not forget this stage has its bonuses too. Like the two hour nap ;) ;) ;)
Let's not forget this stage has its bonuses too. Like the two hour nap ;) ;) ;)
I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. Do you have a favourite stage? Like me do you too struggle with the toddler stage?? Or is it your absolute favourite?
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