I remember being pregnant with Caleb unable to imagine what life would be like once he was born. I just couldn't picture it no matter how hard I tried. Then there he was in my arms and soon I couldn't imagine (nor barely remember) a life without him.

When we fell pregnant with Archie, although I could picture a life with a newborn, I couldn't picture life with two babies to love. How on earth was that going to work?! Would I love this baby as much as Caleb? Would Caleb still love me the same now he had to share me?? Would I be able to cope with two under three? These questions circled my mind the entire pregnancy.

A guilt started to creep in too, because second pregnancies get nowhere near the attention you gave your first pregnancy. I actually missed not one but two midwife appointments!! A fact that seems unfathomable when pregnant with your first, but heavily pregnant with your second and a toddler to run after....well like I said, I missed not one but TWO. I cried the second time my midwife rang to ask where I was. How would I take care of two when I couldn't even remember important appointments for my unborn child?!

Then Archie arrived. In that instant my heart literally doubled in size. It's true what people say, your heart grows bigger. Just when you think you couldn't love any more than you already do, your heart grows this infinite amount of love for your whole family, and for me at that point it felt like I could have a million more babies and there would be enough love to go around.

If you want to read about the boys meeting for the first time you can find that here, and how we found having two in those first tentative few months here.

Oh and a little tip a friend shared with us for when the boys first met, in the pictures you will see that Archie was in a bouncy chair. We purposely did that so when Caleb first met Archie he wasn't in either mine or Michael's arms. We didn't want his first experience meeting his little brother to be filled with jealousy or by the feeling he was being replaced. It worked wonders and it was Caleb (or at least in his mind) to be the first to hold Archie. Seeing the pride burst from a two year old is a seriously beautiful thing.

We have our fair share of tears and arguments but jealously isn't a huge thing in our house. I think that's largely down to Caleb's easy going nature but I also wonder if their first meeting has anything to do with it too. I guess we'll never truly know, but I really do feel like it set a good tone to their relationship from the get go.



So how is life now with two?

Well with just 26 months between them there is never a dull moment. Caleb will turn five (five!!!) in April and Archie will be three in June. It's been surreal watching the gap close between them physically and mentally, it used to be Caleb who was naturally in charge but now the hierarchy switches and every day they become more like equals.

I remember when Archie was a baby, people would spot him and then Caleb, running around like any crazed two year old would do, and the first thing they would say to me is, 'You have your hands full'. They were right, I did. Yet funnily enough life with two felt much easier to me in many ways, less intense than just having one child, and seriously, I found late pregnancy with a toddler super hard. After that two under three and even two lots of nappies didn't seem so bad ;)

It feels like now is where the pay off really starts though, for every double nappy change there was, now there is double the laughs, double the trouble, and a really beautiful friendship forming between the boys. There's very little now that Archie can't do that Caleb can, which instantly makes life so much easier. It isn't always roses, but nor should it be, through each other they're learning the most important social skills. A fact I remind myself of on those tough days when you're more referee than mother.

Now for the question every mother of two will be asked, 'Will you have a third?'

Honestly, I don't know, but someone is certainly keen. Caleb asks every morning when will I have a baby in my tummy! We asked if he realised what another baby in my tummy meant, another brother or sister. 'Yes, I want that!', he replied, 'I would take care of the baby and share my toys and read the baby stories.'

Talk about selling the idea of number three to me, and a larger age gap. The eldest pretty much brings up the third baby, right?! ;)


For those interested in furniture details, you can find our bed here. It was a really easy build too which was a bonus.

Our wall lights can be found here, they're an absolute steal for the price and a lovely alternative to a bedside lamp.

2 comments

  1. Ah Claire, this post is so beautiful and I love the idea of how your boys met for the first time... I may try and do that myself or work around it if it's in the hospital. I so needed to read this post, thanks so much darling xxxx

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  2. What a brilliant tip about when your boys first met. If we have another I will absolutely do the same. Love reading about their friendship and bond - you really do have the loveliest boys Claire. I'm going to come back and read those other two posts you highlighted in this too when it more of an earthly hour than it is right now. Much love lady xxx

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